Build Your Network Part 2: The Hunt

Hi, Guys! This is the second post on network building. For the 1st part, you can click Part 1: The Armor. Happy Reading :)

Indonesian in the mid of Arabian Y20, they say: "Let's make Moslem League " :))

The problem with finding the right person to start the conversation and introduce our self is rejection. We are afraid to be rejected. The solution I take for this condition is finding the “Open Doors” or people who are in an open state for new connection and friendship. The second solution is: Deal with the rejection, especially if you have a target to get connected with. First thing to discuss will be the easy target. The Open Doors.

Y20 Turkiye Delegate 2012

The Open Doors

In a social interaction spot, there are some people that actually sending the signals to be found that they are open for conversation. They wanted the companion. Read their body language. Don’t bother for people who already busy with their conversation. Find those who are relaxed, open body gesture. Observe the social interactions happening around us. You can tell which one is an Open door, and which one is not in the mood for new friends. Reading the body language is a beneficial skill we need to learn.

 Y20 China's Delegate

How to Enter the Open Doors?

There are some ways to enter the Open Doors. Of course it is depends on the circumstances. I will portray some circumstances we may have.

1. Next Door / Neighbor

During an event, there is a huge possibility we will have a neighbor. It is as simple as someone who sits next to us. You can find different person character based on the seat they might take.

Character of people based on seat that they might take are:

a. Front seat: Normally people who sit on the front seat are there for focusing on the event / class. It will be harder to talk with them, especially if you are sitting on the front row. Conversation is hardly happen there.

b. Middle seat: I found that people in the middle seat are tend to be more relax as they have 50-50 attention and supported by the good position to have a small talk without drawing too much attention.

c. The last row: Conversation is ease to happen, if they are bored with the class, we can just take them out of the room.

So based on their seats, we can predict what might happened. We can choose where we wanted to be.

Girls Gang at Food Security Chamber, you will never know who is going to sit next to you :) Mine was a pact of pretty and smart ladies <3 td="">

2. Tea Break or Standing Party

Tea break is made so people can have an opportunity to make conversations. We will find more open doors during tea break.

Hunt the open doors, approach them, and exercise the self introduction.

My suggestion during tea break, bring some food or drink with you so people are more relax during your approaching. It is also an excuse to stay with someone as we are also enjoying the same condition with them. Don’t approach a person who is enjoying their tea with an empty hand. Show them that we are enjoying what they enjoy. A cup of tea and a little biscuit are showing that we are a part of the pact.

What to avoid?

During tea break, don’t take something that is hard to eat. They are food that will cause mess on our lips or just too difficult to eat while talking.

Don’t eat something that will stick on your teeth. J

Party at Governor's Place, Publa- Mexico

Standing Party + Dance + Free flow Tequila!

3. Dinner / Lunch table

During the dining time, people tend to sit with their known friends. It is ok to do so but make sure you don’t stay with more than one same friend. Always try to sit with new people. Always sit on the position where you can see the stage (if there is any stage, normally they will have one for the performer). This position will allow you to have more subject to talk about during the dining.

Eat slowly, small bite so you can swallow them immediately and answer questions or having a conversation with a person next to you.

Dinner for Y20 Mexico, One of the prettiest that I had. I wish my wedding will be as sweet as this one.

Don’t have too much on your plate. It will imply that you are greedy. Each time you want to take something new, offer the person next to you if they want something you can bring for them like drink, fruits, or desert.

4. Dance Floor

Some events have dance floor. During this particular time, you can have a partner or not. My suggestion during the dance floor time, it is always good if we learn how to dance. It does not have to dance like a pro, just several enjoyable movements that we have. Make sure we don’t dance like we are doing aerobic. Try not to sweat a lot. Dance like we are giving a chance for our partner of friends to approach us.

For me, slow music is the best. House music is way to hard to have a nice conversation even thou it s all depends on your purpose in the dance floor. ;)

A little thing to be aware of is distance. Some people might have different expectation of personal distant that they expect us not to violate. Predict their cultural background might help their expectation. For example, people from Moslem countries versus European. They have different cultural standard of Personal distance. Be aware and careful. Make sure we get the cue to get into their personal area.

 

Pool party venue in Bandung, 2010

Second thing to discuss will be Our Targeted Person.

If we have certain target to get connected with, it takes extra preparations. Googling is a good habit to do. Find out what is our target’s background, what might be interesting to him/ her. What is better not to talk about with them or the “stress point”. For example, if someday you are lucky to meet up with KIM JONG UN, then better not to talk about nuclear.

Understanding our target is very important. Try to build our frame of reference or as simple as knowing their world. People tend to like others with more similarities with them. Be a half full glass, ready to accept what they say but also show that we are bright.

Think of possibility we get to know to the person, who to contact, who should be our bridge. Relax, natural, listen and response.

For me, the natural thing is always the best. You can be fully prepared, but don’t stick to things that we read. Be ready with the all interesting response that might happen.

So, those are several conditions we might have during the hunts. Next post will be about presenting our self during introduction. I will call it: The Heart Thief